


bucketlist

by seolstice



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JINSOUL
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2020-05-02 14:21:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19200634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seolstice/pseuds/seolstice
Summary: "Sometimes, two people have to fall apart for them to realize how much they need to fall back together."In which Jungeun goes back to studying, only to come across her ex whom she misses the most. She convinces herself that she is over Jinsol but each time she gets to see her, she just falls deeper in love, much like how things were before they got together six years back.Jinsol on the other hand has become a master on her field. Pursuing further studies to reach her goal, she's made it to a point that she'll let nothing to distract her along the course. But the stricter she is to herself, the harsher life comes back to her.





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be a one shot and just a lil fic to celebrate jinsoul's birthday today but while i was typing this more ideas just kept coming through so ... [clown emoji]
> 
> also wow this is the first time i'm using ao3 as a writer wow spare me from the technicalities of this site

It was long since Jungeun had last seen her—there back in their old meeting place, Jungeun had bid a farewell after breaking up with her, but all she did was smile, nod, turn around and leave. No words after that; nothing about Jinsol came around after the two of them part ways years back. Until that very day.

Jungeun was young and adventurous, she'd tap all chances presented before her, that's why with just a bit of nagging and constant reminder that applications and entrance exams were just around the corner, she took the chance. Now she found herself enrolling to that very school her friends told her to go for her masters; she just missed to remember it was also Jinsol's alma mater.

"Hey," was all she could muster to say. A smile drew across Jinsol's face when she saw her, and Jungeun's heart ached at the sight of it. She missed that face, she missed those lips, but those would be embarrassing to admit now.

It seemed like nothing bad happened between the two of them, save for the fact that they broke off on good terms. They should still be friends, right? The thought kept drumming in her head—so casual it was to say, but so hard for Jungeun to admit because there was just something off between them even before breaking up, and Jungeun had been left to pinpoint what it was. "Jungeun." Her own name rang in her ears. "It's been a while. Least expecting you to see here, though"

"I know." It's true, it's been a while. Four years had gone by long enough for Jungeun to have done numerous things to strike off from her lengthy bucketlist. There's one she's been itching to remove though. "I study here now"

"Really? Cool, you're a schoolmate now," Jinsol beamed, but the sound of indifference seemed to have blown toward Jungeun's direction instead. Back in the days, the thought of Jungeun joining her in that university excited Jinsol, but there seemed to have no enthusiasm in that reply. Maybe that's because the past was different from what they're in now.

 

Jinsol had changed.

 

It was a portion in time Jungeun would like to prolong, but minutes came in quickly and she felt nervous at each second passing by. Though in all honesty, she wanted to catch up with Jinsol, talk about how they'd been spending their days, maybe reminisce about their past if that was not much of a sensitive topic, but Jinsol's phone blasting startled Jungeun from wording her thoughts.

"Hey honey!"

Jungeun didn't hear the rest of the talk, she refused to listen. All it took was Jinsol's greeting to whoever was on the other line in the phone to get her slammed with the reality that they're no longer together.

"I gotta go now"

It's been years now.

"I'll just see you whenever!"

Suffice to say, Jungeun had never gotten over Jinsol.

 

*

"Yves, say you came across your ex, how would you react?"

Jungeun was expecting a more rational response from her friend because she's supposed to be the "mature" one between them, but from the likes of it, Yves was more focused on texting probably another one of her Tinder dates, than pay attention to what she was asked. Yves just shrugged her shoulders which earned a groan from Jungeun.

"You're really useless."

"I mean, you're very casual with a lot of your exes before, why ask that now"

"I don't have a lot of exes! And! This isn't about me wh—"

"So who among your numerous exes did you meet huh?" The question caught Jungeun. She saw how a smirk was plastered on her friend's face but if she's to answer the question honestly right now, she knew Yves would turn that smile upside down.


	2. in the library

"'Honey?' That's seriously the best comeback you could use?"

Jinsol dropped her stuff at the back seat of her friend's car, groaning as she did so. "Haseul, it's the worst."

"Tell me what I don't know"

A moment passed before Jinsol finally settled in, a seatbelt over her body was draped for safety; Haseul's behind the wheel, already shifting gears so they could drive their way off the campus.

An unusual silence stretched within each meter Haseul drove off and it was deafening. Knowing Jinsol, she should be taking about how her day was, like how some of her colleagues kept talking behind her back, or maybe how great the cafeteria food was which, by the way, was the only thing that kept her in their building during lunch. But the strange behavior she was exhibiting caught her friend's curiosity. Sometimes Jinsol wished her friends were more of the oblivious people.

"So what happened?"

Jinsol took a deep breath in.

"I met Jungeun"

Haseul pulled to a harsh stop, it was red light on the board across her. "Jungeun?"

With her brows furrowing deeper, Jinsol nodded. "Jungeun"

Haseul muttered words which still reached her friend's ear. They're usually both tired and not making any sense of their afternoon car ride conversations like this one but the situation called for something else.

 

 _Maybe it's a sign_.

 

"Seriously Jinsol, this is already destiny paving way for you, I think it's time you do some explaining to her."

Jinsol rolled the window down to catch some fresh air. She'd need more of this and some considerations before taking in any matters that weren't in her plan. She'd already decided things way back and a simple occurrence was now making her change her mind. It made her head ache.

"Think about it," was what Haseul said before stepping on the gas once the light went green.

The rest of the ride remained silent.

 

*

 

It was one of those days Jungeun would come to admire the library. It was so full of life yet so serene, so packed at the same time so unbothered. So simple but so complex. The library was her perfect place. The irony of it all made Jungeun wonder why she had never liked libraries way before she'd come to know them. Maybe because she once found them boring with all the books she saw around, and the librarians scared her. But the usefulness the building gave her ignited the gratitude in her.

Jungeun rarely studied too hard. She believed enough reading and understanding, and a repeat cycle of that if ever she couldn't grasp the content of the course were enough for her to survive student life. Her method actually earned her a degree so why was she trying something new?

She figured that what her friends told her about this school not being simple and spoon-feeding when it came to knowledge was no joke—she'd experienced it firsthand now. The institution needed someone who could think beyond the box, the students' own boxes, and Jungeun wasn't attuned to that mindset from how she was trained.

A week into the course, two failed seatworks and an assignment marked as redo reminded her that taking masters wasn't as easy as snagging a bachelor's degree. If she's to continue fooling around, she'd witness herself quickly kicked out of the program. And she couldn't risk that after sacrificing important things just to get into this school.

The library in the heart of the campus was her favorite one. She's becoming familiar with its sections and floors, trying them one by one in every visit for her to know which study room best suited her style. This time, it was the ground floor, where the whole social studies section resided, that she chose.

The section was bigger than she had imagined—most of the floor was dedicated to it. On one side, room for books and resources was built for the convenience of students who took courses related to any field in the social science dimension. Across it was a hallway that led to separate rooms, one for audio visual studio for media relevant to the subject, and another for school newspaper and magazines archive. And the room she approached, that one directly across the huge staircase she'd just descended from, was for group study tables, a room for those who fancied peer learning more than individual understanding.

Before entering, she noticed a space that led to another place in the floor. Jungeun took no patience to venture deep within that area knowing she could risk another drop in her grade if she didn't save more time for studying.

So she entered the room, found herself sharing it with three other people who were already inside. All their heads turned to Jungeun's direction which prompted a shy greeting from her.

"Hi, I'm sorry, did I interrupt you during a discussion?"

"Not at all!" A wave of brightness and enthusiasm gushed towards her and before Jungeun could respond, the same person spoke again. "You're just in time! We're about to have a talk on contemporary issues."

Jungeun nodded, then she took a seat in their table. It would be awkward if she chose a different one considering she entered the room for groups and not being in a group defeated the purpose of it.

"So what's your name?" All other eyes were still on her.

"Kim Jungeun."

The strangers stared deeply into her as if they're trying to uncover what's left of Jungeun to say. But the same person who greeted her earlier flashed her a toothy smile which somewhat warmed Jungeun's heart and made her feel at ease.

"I'm Jiwoo, this is Hyejoo, and that one is Yerim. They're both my babies"

"She's basically our university mom now," Yerim, who seemed to radiate the same energy as Jiwoo, said.

"No, I am not her baby, and I refuse to acknowledge that, I am just here to learn," that one with the stern demeanor, Hyejoo, claimed. The rest of the girls in the room couldn't take her seriously since she spoke with the softest voice possible, and it only made Jiwoo giggle.

"So what are you here for, Jungeun? Why aren't you—" Jiwoo paused midway her fast speech, briefly considering words that would come out of her lips. "Reading in the books section, it's more peaceful in there"

Jungeun shook her head. The librarians in the place still scared her that she thought if she encountered something that confused her or she didn't know, it would require her to seek help from people around. But talking even in her lowest possible voice could probably attract the ears of the librarian and Jungeun was afraid to be thrown out of the room. She needed a place where she could freely speak with anyone around.

"Cute," Jiwoo regarded her idea. She then pointed to the empty chairs by the table next to them, "If you feel like you need more quiet time, we three could transfer there and talk in our soft voices!"

Jungeun waved her hands, told them it was alright for them to stay in one table together. Besides, she's studying the applications of their topic in class now, and the best way to do so was by observation.

The rest of the afternoon was spent in various talks about contemporary issues. Jungeun personally liked the topic about genders and she was keen to the other girls' opinions about it. Everyone in the room was open to the case, Jungeun felt that all of them had accepted other genders without prejudice, which was a relief on her part.

Hyejoo made a lot of intelligible comments on it that in turn surprised the rest of the girls. The open-mindedness she had amused them. Jiwoo then revealed she was bisexual which made the discussion more interesting as Yerim followed with "Aren't we all?"

It seemed to Jungeun that everyone in that room shared that kind of connection, a harmonious blend that bridged their deep thoughts, constructing ways where all four of them would meet at one center. She felt way closer to them now than during her first step into the room.

But the night was nearing, purple hues started to paint across the orange skies. Jungeun checked her clock, 5:25. Surely, for something enjoyable to do, time seemed to fly by fast. Jungeun learned a lot today, not only in her own subject matter, but also about different societal issues she had been re-introduced to. She'd thank her newfound friends for the knowledge they shared with her.

The four of them walk their way out of the building together with Jiwoo and Jungeun trailing few steps behind the two other girls.

"So where are you headed to?" Jiwoo inquired, turning her head to the side. Jungeun explained her evening agenda: go back to her apartment and cook for her and her roommate who happened to have the worst skills when it came to kitchen duties. She also revealed that if she didn't do so, she'd be cursed with eating ramen for the rest of the semester. "That's ... Interesting" Jiwoo managed to hide a chuckle.

"What about you girls?"

"Oh, Hyejoo and Yerim have to return to their dorm. And I still have to go for a class"

"In the evening?!" Jungeun accidentally exclaimed in disbelief.

"Yeah, in the evening. It's the only time when my favorite prof has classes scheduled." There's that tinge of pink that crept on Jiwoo's cheeks but Jungeun was being nice to not point it out.

The four of them bid each other their good-byes and separated on the road at one side of the library. Jiwoo crossed the path straight ahead, while Hyejoo and Yerim took a right turn together. Jungeun was to go around the building and walk further where the direction of her shared apartment was supposedly found.

 

Minutes into strolling and Jungeun finally acknowledged that she's taken the wrong turn, now she's lost. Luckily, after a few trips and turns, she saw her landmark and was able to go back in her tracks. While walking, she carefully took note of the signs close to the buildings. Names, she thought. She had to familiarize herself with them to visualize the map of their university grounds in hopes of not getting lost again.

She slowed her pace upon passing by a unique building which gave off a vibe that reminded her of someone.

 

College of Business.

 _Oh_.

Jinsol's home college.

 

Jungeun figured that she'd probably see her ex going out of that very building during the day. But when it's night and the moon was up high, Jinsol's probably in the comforts of her room, lying on her bed, doing something productive, as what she would always do.

She remembered how Jinsol loved libraries. Back then, she'd text Jungeun when she's in one, talk to her about the books and the stuff found in there. Jinsol was the first one to tell her about the different library spots found in their campus. Jungeun still remembered how excited her former girlfriend was while talking about how there were some secret places marked for executive use only and it would need a little convincing and charm for the guards to let her in. For sure, with those adventures, Jinsol had unearthed different secrets about the libraries in the university.

(If only Jungeun was a student in that campus back then, Jinsol would have given her a tour in those places she spoke of. Jungeun's left to discover and marvel around those on her own now.)

She also remembered Jinsol's favorite library spot—that one on the ground floor of that very building she's looking at. Maybe if Jungeun entered inside, she'd spot Jinsol with her glasses on, reading something about macroeconomics or maybe rambling about capitalism to somebody. But it wasn't the day she's supposed to miss her ex that she'd go all way around to look for her in a place where there's only a slight possibility of Jinsol being there for the moment.

 

Jungeun thought she had to pause for a while with looking around for Jinsol. That took so much time from her the past few days that she almost forgot her purpose in that school was to study for her masters degree.

It was supposed to be the day when Jungeun regained her focus. And by that, her studies had to come in line first.

Even if she missed Jinsol so much, she had to put her priorities back in order.

For the moment, she'd leave it to faith when the two of them would meet again, or maybe wait for another free time to go around the campus to look for Jinsol.

 

*

 

Haseul pretended to walk past Jinsol's front, trying to get her attention off the book she was reading. She did it once, twice, and on the third try, she heard an airy giggle, followed by a loud thud from the book Jinsol just closed.

"You're cute when you do that, but you look desperate"

Haseul rolled her eyes before dragging her friend by the wrist, talking about how on their way back tonight, they would encounter some traffic congestions along the road, so they needed to hurry.

"Maybe if you arrived earlier, we could have been at home by now," Jinsol said mockingly, clipping her seatbelt on the side.

"There's a stupid meeting that was not scheduled. Everyone was pissed, okay." Haseul defended herself. "Where did you stay though?"

"Oh, the usual, in the library"

"Business or—"

"Business. Remember it has a whole room for graduates and there's no guard in there? Perfect for a sneaky agenda," Jinsol leaned on her seat as she said so, finishing her sentence with a whip of her hand across the air.

"By sneaky, you mean reading another book on macroeconomics—"

"Bruh, that's in the past, I was taking advantage of fast and free internet by watching some Netflix stuff okay." Both laughed at the statement. "I haven't watched Game of Thrones since forever! Too bad I left my laptop, I could have downloaded a lot earlier"

Haseul just shook her head. She'd known Jinsol for years yet her friend still came off truly unpredictable at times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what's your favorite spot(s) in your school?  
> mine's the library (◕◡◕✿)
> 
> so what's your thoughts on this so far (◡‿◡✿)
> 
> ps does anyone know how to delete that last note that was supposed to be for the previous chapter but idk how that went there D: omg nvm i figured it out hehe


	3. at the cafe

"Meet me at the cafe later!"

It wasn't supposed to be an order, but to her it felt as if she had to do what she'd been said. After all, she was considered a good follower.

*

Jungeun had developed a habit of meeting Jiwoo in different places around the campus every Fridays when they had nothing to do. Her newfound friend wasn't the type to drag her around but Jiwoo's outgoing personality lulled her into the belief that she was fun to be with—she was a magnet and Jungeun was pulled into her like anything diving into a blackhole, except Jiwoo was bright like the sun and Jungeun didn't exactly mind whenever she was tagged around.

With every second they spent together, the two of them got closer. They'd talk and talk until they realized it was time to part, they would share secrets with each other like best friends did. Sometimes Hyejoo and Yerim would be there with them, with the two younger students just listening to their seniors' banters and rants (more like Jiwoo's) but it was always Jiwoo and Jungeun who were present.

This time, the meeting place was at a cafe. They'd have a light afternoon meal while catching up with the recent week's event, and proceed with their own schedule after.

Jiwoo was in the midst of explaining a homework that was going to take up much of her weekend when her expression turned gloomy (more like it molded into irritation instead but Jungeun refused to believe her friend was capable of such emotion.) Her brows were knitted as she fixed her vision somewhere far from anyone could see. Jungeun suddenly felt curiosity creeping at the back of her head so she turned to where her friend stared, confused at the same time since it's just a bunch of people from outside the cafe that's keeping Jiwoo occupied to be continuing her story.

"Uh, something wrong?" Jungeun attempted to bring her back to her senses and she swore she saw her friend swallowing a lump in her throat. Jiwoo didn't say a word, just dragged her line of vision across the room.

Jungeun thought Jiwoo wasn't aware of her own actions, even that huge sigh she let out after relaxing her tensed shoulders didn't knock Jiwoo off from whatever just caught her. Worried, she waved her hands right in front of Jiwoo's face which finally snapped her friend back to reality.

"Eh?"

"You good?"

"Ah," Jiwoo flashed her toothy smile to assure she was okay, but it just took a second for her to admit she wasn't. She's such a bad liar to begin with.

"What went on with you?"

"Ah" Jiwoo chimed again, trying to feign the sadness that obviously displayed across her face. Jungeun wasn't going to delve into anything if it wasn't for her to go into but Jiwoo was more than welcoming. "It's just. _Someone_."

And it was as if Jungeun won an award for finally solving the secret behind a huge mystery, she blurted, "Your crush? That prof?" But remembering the exact opposite expression Jiwoo just exhibited earlier made her want to swim in a puddle of mud so she could hide herself in embarrassment because for sure, no one would look that annoyed nor sad if she saw her crush. Unless. Unless... So it was definitely something else.

No one knew when the air suddenly became stuffy for Jungeun to breathe. She hoped Jiwoo didn't take her ignorance too seriously since she sincerely still wanted to be her friend.

While Jungeun was too scared to even say another stupid remark, Jiwoo was shifting closer. She lowered her voice so only the two of them would hear. "It's... It's _her_."

 _Her_ was such a broad term. And Jungeun was too clueless to make anything out of it. Jiwoo explained it in simple terms to make her explanation short, and Jungeun could only piece out the most remarkable thoughts from them.

If Jungeun's comprehension was right, Jiwoo's crush's girlfriend was there. Or it might not be a girlfriend but a good friend. But there's that kind of implication.

So her friend was jealous. Probably angry, even. Jungeun respected Jiwoo's request to not look behind her because two tables from them was where _she_ sat. It would bring suspicion if she stared at her direction, so Jungeun stayed put, and tried to drive away the topic to distract her friend even if she's itching to see how that person looked like.

They were talking about their schedules next week when Jiwoo stopped midway her explanation again. "She's leaving"

Jungeun quickly whipped her head to catch a glimpse of that lady but all she saw was the back small figure in a lame outfit with her short hair tied in a messy way. Not to be the judging type but she thought Jiwoo would have been a more potential girlfriend material than that person.

*

The sound of a weird ringtone blaring diverted the attention of the two friends to the screen of Jungeun's phone. Jiwoo mouthed a 'go on' as she took her drink for a sip. Jungeun was too surprised to be seeing the caller id plastered on her screen.

"Yves. Why"

"I see you in the cafe and I'm heading towards your—" Jungeun could already hear her friend's greeting from across the room. "Heeeeey Jungeun!"

Surprised, Jiwoo lifted her head to see who was coming.

It was awkward to be introducing two friends to each other. Usually it was Jungeun who got to be introduced, but this time called for some change in roles. Luckily, Jiwoo and Yves didn't seem to need her proper introduction because the two of them had mastered the art of socialization.

"I'm Jiwoo, an educ student!"

"And I'm Yves," Jungeun was eyeing her in case she planned to mention anything uncalled for. "Well I've graduated and I'm Jungeun's friend."

Surprisingly, the atmosphere turned light with the sudden turnout of events.

While talking about which coffee shop around the uni was best for studying, Yves remembered how Jungeun owed her a drink so she shoved Jungeun to take her order from the cashier. Jungeun was more than willing to protest but she's just tired of her friend whining if she didn't do it. She didn’t want to appear as the bad friend in front of a good soul like Jiwoo too, so she willed herself out of her seat and took off.

Jungeun came back to a laughing pair. In all honesty, she didn’t expect them to click right off the bat but seeing her friends’ genuine smiles touched a soft spot on her chest and it’s as if laughter was contagious she felt her own lips curved upward.

“Jungeun! You never told me you had Tinder account before?” Jiwoo shouted a bit too loudly for the other people in the cafe to hear.

“It was one time! I deleted it after a day, people there were scary!”

Was it too late for her to cancel this new friendship? Jungeun could already sense the tips of her ears starting to warm as she approached their shared table. There’s a notorious smirk on Yves’ face and she hated seeing that. She knew this friend had something nasty in mind.

It’s going to be a long afternoon.

*

Haseul was too busy flooding Jinsol’s phone with messages.

_Sol._   
_Where are you? I’m here now_   
_Hey_   
_Something happened?_

She waited, shifting her gaze from her phone to the cake she bought for the two of them that rested on the cafe table. And there was a quick ding! that she was waiting for.

_Sorry :(_   
_Emergency meeting until 5 :(_   
_I’ll get you something in return when I get back to our apartment later :(_

Haseul smiled at the response, she wasn’t disappointed. Jinsol must have disappointed her in many ways before but this wasn’t the same as those. There’s a reason and Jinsol wouldn’t cancel on anything for nothing. So she picked her stuff and left the place where they were supposed to meet.


	4. by the stop

The thing that confused Jungeun the most was time. 

 

One day as she strolled around the campus, she’s seeing the sunny skies of autumn—the atmosphere bringing her nostalgia with its calm scenery of brown and orange hues. Jungeun thought time was longer those days, but as she opened her eyes the week after, snowflakes started drizzling atop her head, the colder breeze began to brush past her bare skin. Winter was something that she’d anticipate but not that quickly in the month of November. Things seemed to pass by so fast.

 

*

 

“First snow of this year came earlier than expected!” Jiwoo remarked as she brought the cups of hot chocolate she bought for herself and her friend. A day like this was supposed to be spent in a park for their afternoon chatter but the sudden snowfall required the two of them to seek shelter closeby. 

 

Jungeun suggested staying in a restaurant next to the park. While none of them had been there before, they both thought it would be nice to try something new. Good thing the place offered hot chocolate for them to keep themselves warm. 

 

That afternoon was longer than they thought that they were able to share things that happened to each of them for the past few days they hadn’t seen each other. 

 

Jungeun was done with the first wave of her examinations, and she’s halfway done with her projects. With the amount of positive feedback she had been receiving from her professors, she’s proud to say that she’s doing well academically. Her focus improved too, and she didn’t exactly need to drink caffeine to keep her up to finish her homework since she’s able to accomplish them right in time. The library was of good help to her too. 

 

Jiwoo was doing well in her own way. She just finished two hosting activities that her college asked her to do. The only thing that kept her busy these days were her comprehensive exams and those wouldn’t come around until the second week of December. She had all the time to herself and to spend it how ever way she wanted. That very day she was just petting dogs in an animal shelter until she received a message from her friend about a hangout.

 

“You should join me next time, let’s feed the dogs! They’re so adorable!” Jungeun didn’t mind her friend clinging on her and mumbling things like this. She loved it when Jiwoo got excited about almost anything under the sun; it refreshed her and Jiwoo’s energy would always pass on to her that even in her gloomiest days, Jungeun would be bribed to smile because that’s just how her friend’s smile was: contagious. 

 

It’s a matter that also scared Jungeun. For a person so happy and bright, how would it be like when sadness took over her? She was curious, though as much as possible, Jungeun would never want anyone around her to experience that, especially not Jiwoo. She’s so precious that Jungeun would fight anything that would cause her friend this kind of emotion. 

 

“Look! Look! Jungie, look!” Jiwoo was showing her images of the dogs she had taken care of earlier. They were going over the pictures with Jiwoo slowly switching from one snapshot to another but the sudden message notification made her withdraw her phone as fast as she could. Jiwoo blushed because she knew Jungeun saw who the message was from.

 

“I take it as you and Yves actually—”

 

“N-no! We’re just really hanging out these days.”

 

Jungeun laughed, “Well that was what I wanted to say.” Jiwoo was just so cute for her friend not to tease her because she got so defensive quickly. “But you know, I’m here in case you want to know more about her.” 

 

The smug on Jungeun’s face wouldn’t brush off and it made her friend’s face redder. She’s seeing Jiwoo type a response on her phone, and she’s not about to tease her about that again, she’s cautious to be offending her friend if she further continued. Jiwoo placed her phone on the table in front of them and then she turned to Jungeun with a straight face.

 

“Yves is _really_ _hot_ and fun to be with, don’t get me wrong. But-” Jiwoo’s stern face was giving Jungeun the shivers. “Remember, I have my eyes laid on someone else,” her face softened to a frown as she said those words. Jiwoo probably felt bad for spending time with Yves if it meant something to the other girl, because for her it was just a casual hangout with a friend, just like how she went on friendly dates with Jungeun.

 

“Oh, Jiwoo, of course!” Of course, Jiwoo was still crushing on someone, Jungeun always heard this in her friend’s stories. “That’s okay!” to ease her friend’s feelings, she said. Jungeun didn’t know what else to mutter and she didn’t know things were happening between her two friends since she was too occupied with school stuff the past few days. But knowing Yves who would get caught up with feelings easily despite the “bitchy” persona she loved to project to people, and this side of Jiwoo, she couldn’t help but think it’s going to be messy in the future if none of them would get things cleared up soon. “So, would you like to tell me more updates on this professor you have your eyes on…” 

 

The sudden change of topic brought the blush back on Jiwoo’s face. Sure she’d talk about her crush but the question came off quickly, she thought maybe Jungeun was just trying not to lead on a sensitive issue further considering it’s involving her other friend. The look on her face also immediately turned playful, like they didn’t have a serious topic a second ago. 

 

Jungeun had the least idea why she asked that stupid request, but she’s sure her reason was harmless and she just wanted the steer away from the topic if it would just make her friend worried. And besides, crushes would be a good subject to talk over during dinner. 

 

*

 

The food they ordered came within the first ten minutes of Jungeun listening to her friend talking about her crush. Jiwoo still refused to name the person since she thought Jungeun would have the tendency to stalk people on social media, and she was right. Jungeun would definitely do it if she had time to spare, but she assured Jiwoo that she wouldn’t be able to do it given all the things that she had to attend to that week. Jiwoo was not convinced though, and even with her friend nagging her, she wouldn’t give in.

 

“Hey! You already know what my crush is like! No need to be asking for the name! You can literally imagine her in your head!”

 

Jungeun gasped. “Her! I finally got a pronoun! Now for the name...” Her eyes shrank into thin lines as she examined Jiwoo’s reactions. She should be able cross-examine the brunette next to her with all the basic psychological knowledge that she had acquired before. “But I bet you’re not telling me anytime soon huh,” she commented. Jiwoo remained unfazed, her phone was in her hands, she refused to look Jungeun in the eye. “I should just look at the professor's schedule log on the university website to get her name huh? You meet her on Thursdays, right” 

 

With the way Jiwoo reacted, Jungeun knew she said the right thing to scare her. Jiwoo’s eyes widened in disbelief and a gasp left her lips the moment her friend made the remark. “Sometimes I don’t like it how you can figure things out easily” 

 

“So which class was it again hmmm,” Jungeun pretended not to hear the girl next to her. She wasn’t actually thinking of her friend’s classes because she hardly knew anything about them, but to tease Jiwoo into giving her more hints, she’s acting like that. 

 

A thought suddenly came to Jungeun. 

 

“Is it the educ admin—”

 

“Jiwoo—oh Jungeun! You’re also here?”

 

Hearing Yves’ voice that night was a bit too surprising for Jungeun. As far as her mind could remember, her other friend should still be at work around that time. But as she took a look at her watch, it’s already seven and sure Yves would have clocked out by then for her to be able to join them.

 

Jiwoo stood to meet Yves with a hug, and it’s another shock for Jungeun to witness that. “What do you mean I’m also here? Of course I’m here”

 

“When Jiwoo said she was with a friend, I thought it was the grumpy one because she was getting teased, didn’t know it was gonna be you,” taking the seat across them, Yves responded.

 

There’s an endearing tone in Jiwoo’s voice, “Would you like me to order for you?” it’s the type anyone would fall for, and sure with the way Yves looked back at the brunette asking the question, Jungeun could piece out the things unraveling right in front of her. It’s bittersweet to see. 

 

Jiwoo excused herself to make order for Yves’ dinner. She’s had a habit of doing things for her friends, just like this one. The small details that Jiwoo did were something that made her even more of a better person, someone who’s too good to be true, Jungeun thought. 

 

With Yves left with her at the table, Jungeun wasted no time in interrogating. “You like Jiwoo don’t you?” The question came off more like a statement of fact. 

 

Yves smiled as she brushed her hair back and Jungeun knew this action so well—it’s a sign that her friend was interested in someone and she’s shy to admit it. “You’re so annoying, what are you, a teenager!”

 

“You’re just bitter you don’t have a life right now” 

 

“Girl,” Yves’ words hit the rock bottom of Jungeun’s feelings, though it’s a game she started and she’s not about to cry that moment. Jungeun had a powerful card she could use on her friend but she’s not that insensitive to be dispersing things without other people’s consent, so she just cheered, “Well, good luck to you then!” 

 

Yves was raising an eyebrow back at her friend when Jiwoo settled on the seat next to her. “What’s going on?”

 

“Jungeun hating on me, nothing new.”

 

The three of them talked like that. Jungeun just knew about the plans Yves had with Jiwoo that day, and she didn’t know about it when she sent a message to Jiwoo during lunch, asking for a little hangout, and for someone so nice, Jiwoo agreed to do it.

 

A problem sprang up when the “little hangout'' turned out to be longer than their initial plan that it overlapped with the time Jiwoo was supposed to be going to Yves’ place. But she was too shy to end her friendly date with Jungeun, that’s why she came up with the idea of inviting Yves over for dinner, hoping it would be fine since the two of them knew each other.

 

As the night grew darker, the trio became more restless of their respective day’s events. They were resting and waiting for the dessert when Yves asked if she and Jiwoo could leave earlier since they had a movie to catch up on scheduled at nine. The two of them offered to drive Jungeun back to her dorm but the latter declined and said she would be finishing her dessert first so the two of them should just proceed with their “hangout.” 

 

Jungeun was then left on the table, finishing the strawberry cake slice that Jiwoo picked for her. She was keeping herself busy by looking at her social media feed. When the clock struck nine, she picked her things up to leave.

 

The winds beyond the restaurant’s interior froze Jungeun's limbs once she took a step out of the establishment. Earlier that day, there were only little snowflakes falling from the sky, but now with the current situation it seemed that there was heavy snowfall during the time she and her friends were staying inside. She wasn’t expecting the place to be covered in a blanket of snow quickly either. It's already a half a foot deep of cold snow and people were having a hard time with walking. Jungeun herself took ten minutes to make it to the bus stop.

 

Much to Jungeun’s luck, buses weren’t in sight. Most commuters had resorted to carpooling together with people they knew. She regretted her decision earlier; but thinking that she’d steal more time from her two friends if she accepted their offer, she’s glad to be in that situation instead. (Also if she did, Yves would probably hate her even more.) Besides, she didn’t want to be third wheeling.

 

So she nestled herself under the roof of the waiting shed, hopeful of any bus to come her way.

 

Jungeun was watching more snow falling, thinking that if she started walking fifteen minutes prior, she’d be quarterway through her place. But as the night got darker, snow fell heavier. At that rate, she’d probably be buried even before she got halfway through. 

 

She was busy imagining extreme scenes in her head that it took three more honks from the car in front of her to get her attention. Jungeun looked at the window as it slowly rolled down.

 

“Jungeun?”

 

The pounding in her chest became rapid.

 

“Oh, I knew it was you!”

 

It didn’t happen so often; she thought there’s just something about the weather that she suddenly felt that way. But she’s lying to herself. 

 

She knew exactly the reason why her heartbeat raced like that.

 

“ _Jinsol_ , hey.”

 

“Do you need a ride to your place? You look cold” 

 

“Sure” 

 

*

 

Jinsol was still the same person she’d known for years: sweet, caring, and always put everyone else before herself. Jungeun remained silent as the woman beside her fastened seatbelt.

 

“Here, take this,” Jungeun heard her say. There’s a coat being passed to her that Jungeun would rather not wear but didn’t contest otherwise. “You look so cold and pale.” Yes, she was so cold.

 

The air inside felt a little dense for her to take, but Jinsol was driving so casually to mind it. Maybe it was only Jungeun making things harder for herself. 

 

“I haven’t really had my heater fixed,” Jinsol muttered as she changed gears, “and it suddenly snowed! I was scheduled to do it tomorrow, at least. So in case you’re cold… wear it”

 

And then there was silence.

 

“So…” 

 

Silence again.

 

“Where should I take you?”

 

“Oh,” Jungeun mustered to say. Of course, she wouldn’t be sitting there in the car forever with Jinsol. “Eclipse Street”

 

*

 

The route to her place shouldn’t exceed a fifteen minute ride but with the amount of obstacles and the slippery road, it would take longer than that. Jungeun was stuck in bothersome silence with only the whirring sound of the car to entertain her along the way. 

 

She’d steal glances once in a while when she thought Jinsol wasn’t looking and it pained to see her how well she looked, liked she didn’t have problems to mind, like she was alright all the time, like she was damn hell better after the two of them broke up.

 

“Oh, is there something on my face?” Jinsol finally caught her staring.

 

“Nothing,” she whispered. _You’re still as beautiful as the day I’ve lost you_.

 

It’s painful and sad considering Jungeun was doing so well earlier that day; she was all smiley and enthusiastic meeting her friend and teasing them. But now that the day was coming to an end, it was time to get back on her with all the jokes she had done on others. 

 

She was so busy for the past few months that her feelings _like this_ were pushed aside, far away she couldn’t reach that she forgot about them. Funnily enough, with a simple trigger, it all came back like an avalanche no one knew would happen.

 

Things surely had mysterious ways of letting themselves happen. 

 

The car went to a slow stop.

 

Red light.

 

Jungeun knew it was an opportunity for her to start a small talk with the person next to her.

 

“So, how are you?” but Jinsol beat her to it.

 

“Ah,” she felt so restrained to talk about her feelings, _true feelings_ that she wanted to actually tell, but there were much more entertaining stories to share rather than explain how she hadn’t gotten over her past lover all these years. “I was in a dinner with friends, they left earlier for their date so I finished the food alone, got stuck in the snow… then _you found me_ ”

 

Jungeun turned her head to the side, “How about you?” She’s seeing Jinsol’s face being illuminated by the streetlights, head slowly turning to meet her gaze. _God_ , she thought to herself. Jungeun would never get tired of seeing that face.

 

“Honestly I just got off from work.” Jinsol noticed the light turning green. “It’s a Saturday, I know, _I know_. But my work doesn’t stop on a Friday. I got studies, and work! Can you believe it? Even on weekends. Pretty much hell, right.” Her focus was back on the road but her enthusiasm of sharing how her day went didn’t falter.

 

Jungeun smiled. It’s like the Jinsol she’d first met six years back.

 

Hearing Jinsol’s voice brought back the happy moments they spent together. She felt nostalgic of the winter days that they shared in each other’s warmth. There’s always Jinsol rambling about the weather or anything that annoyed her that day and Jungeun giving her soft pats and comfortable hugs that she needed. But those were in the past. Hearing Jinsol’s rants now made Jungeun want to go back to old habits and just pull Jinsol for a tight embrace to tell her it’s okay, _I got you_ , but this time was different. She couldn’t permit herself.

 

“And it’s so stressful managing and teaching at the same time. I have no idea how I get things done on time—”

 

“Jinsol,” Jungeun looked at her with the earnest smile, “You find ways, you always do”

 

Maybe it was the weather or Jungeun’s bad eyesight at night that was making her think she just saw Jinsol blush. Either way, she’s glad she’s getting to spend time like this with Jinsol. It seemed like timing worked well for her tonight, although unexpectedly.

 

*

 

It took a few more minutes until they finally got to Jungeun’s street. Jinsol pulled in front of an apartment complex. 

 

Jungeun mouthed a thanks. She had alighted when she heard Jinsol’s soft voice calling from the car.

 

“Jungeun, please take care,” Jinsol’s words were sincere, her face showing worry. “Don’t get sick, okay?”

 

“I will,” she said with a smile, “thank you.”

 

If Junguen wasn’t lying, she’d stay in the car and talk more with Jinsol, maybe explain what’s going on when it came to her, maybe that way it would get her feelings finally sorted out and this heavy weight she’s unconsciously carrying with her the whole time would be lifted. But as ironic as it was, the more time she spent with Jinsol, the more complicated the situation became.

 

Because she knew her feelings were no longer valid. Because they’re no longer together. 

 

And because Jinsol already had _someone_ else.

 

God, how she wished she could turn back time.

 

Jungeun walked fast but careful enough not to slip on the icy ground. She made sure not to look back, because once she did, Jinsol would see how tears were already trickling down her cheeks. 

 

*

 

Jungeun was inside her apartment, removing her coat, when she realized something. It wasn’t her coat in her hands. There was a surge of embarrassment that got into her, her face even turning paler upon realizing this. 

 

“Gosh, are you sick, unnie? You look like you just battled a frost giant and you got struck thrice, and your eyes, dear lord! What happened?” Her roommate’s voice brought the life back to Jungeun’s cheeks. 

 

“I’m okay, Chaewon. The snow outside’s really bad.” Honestly, she’d tired from the day’s events. She’d start sorting things out the next day. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it took me long to update oof  
> it's messy wbk


	5. in the room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's messy. 420 blaze it!!!

Sunlight peeking through the blinds woke her from a deep slumber. The cold breeze brought by early winter weather seeping through her window perfectly matched the heat her face was getting from the sun. For her, a late morning like this was ideal to wake up to. 

Jinsol fluttered her eyes open, her senses finally recognizing the still sights of her own room. The side of her bed was now empty, but the aftermath of events from last night was still there on her face—swollen eyes, clogged nose, and tear-stained cheeks. It’s always when she cried before slumber that she’d be able to have a peaceful sleep all throughout the night.

She moved closer to the edge of the bed to grab her phone that was on the nightstand. Ten-two, the clock read. It was time for her to move so she could catch up on her afternoon schedule, but considering what she had just gone through, Jinsol figured it’s best to stay at home and do something else that would distract her from thinking so much about things, about  _ it _ .

Her housemate came in after softly knocking on the door. It’s an unspoken rule between the two of them—even though none between Haseul and Jinsol ever locked the door of their rooms for emergency purposes, both still practiced knocking for courtesy. 

A smile drew across Jinsol’s face when she saw the tray her friend was carrying as she walked towards her. Haseul’s one of the sweetest people she’d ever known and living with her proved that she’s even better to be with. 

“...Haseul”

“I made them the way you like them,” Haseul settled on the edge where Jinsol sat. She placed the tray on the empty space next to her. She then took her friend’s face within her hands, “I was caught off guard, but…” Haseul’s face grew into worry when she caught a glimpse of her friend’s eyes. 

She’d seen worse episodes of Jinsol: her friend shattered, in a vulnerable state that Haseul couldn’t do anything but give hugs in hopes of bringing her back to reality where everything was doing  _ fine _ , that there’s nothing bad that’s going to happen anymore. It pained her more to know that Jinsol was aware of all those, but the ghost of the past still lingered around her and her friend couldn’t do anything to get rid of it even if she tried her best to do so. And in this morning seeing Jinsol’s eyes threatening with tears like she’d seen the night before, she’d rather attempt to soothe her with a gentle smile than talk about yesterday, “I’m glad. And I’m so proud of you for staying strong.” She just wanted Jinsol happy without worrying so much anymore.

“Now eat up, take a shower. We’ll go on a date!” Haseul said, scooping a spoonful of food into Jinsol’s mouth. She gave her forehead a peck after.

There’s a soft sob that alarmed Haseul and she was determined to call on emergency this time, but light giggles followed and hearing those calmed her. Jinsol’s happy tears relieved her. 

“I love you,  _ Seullie _ .” Jinsol managed to say between each snivel and the spoon in her mouth.

“I love you too, but fill that stomach now, you little baby”

 

*

 

Jinsol did what she was instructed. 

She ate the bowl of food and fruits Haseul served her, got up from her bed and showered quickly. She put on casual clothes for this date that she had no idea what would be about, but she’s very much thankful for Haseul's gesture. Jinsoul knew very well that Haseul would do anything just to make her feel better and she’s going to be forever indebted about it. She didn’t deserve Haseul.

 

*

 

“Haseul,” Jinsol breathed in the sight of the portion of the floor that belonged to them for the whole time being. “You’re,” There’s much more words in Jinsol’s vocabulary, but they all got stuck in her throat that the first to pop into her head was what she had blurted. “... _ insane _ .” 

Insane was never meant to be an offense; and if any, it was Jinsol’s way of admiring her friend’s effort. 

The interior of the restobar was something Jinsol truly admired—wooden themed floors and walls, with matching dangling details from the ceiling, plants visible in each corner and divider—it was perfect, calming yet luxurious in its own way. Everything inside contrasted the place's simple facade, no wonder Jinsol had never heard of this Eden Garden before, those people who surrounded her only cared about what they could see from outside that's why she'd often hear the same restaurant suggestions from them over and over again. Jinsol took a mental note to thank Haseul later for renting the whole establishment and introducing this place to her.

“Well,” Haseul took her hand as she led the way to one of the corners inside. “Thank you?” Then there was a quick pause before Haseul opened another door that led to an unknown room. “Haven’t you gotten used to it though?” She teased, slowly opening the door she’d had her hands on. 

 

If what Jinsol had seen earlier was already insane, then this one she’s currently viewing would be  _ out of this world _ .

"I couldn't get this one for ourselves, apparently. But you don't mind a few companies around? We can always stay at the dining area if you feel crowded here? And—" Haseul was in the midst of explaining when she lost Jinsol to one of the arcade games found in the room.

Eden Garden. A restobar that featured an arcade room in the heart of its dwelling. Since its opening, a few regulars had been returning not only for its food, but also for that feature. The place rather prefered itself being branded as a niche to avoid accumulating hordes in its vicinity since only a few managed the place. One of them happened to be a friend Haseul met on a dating app. 

Knowing she would be hitting two birds with one stone if she rented the restaurant area to bring Jinsol there for a date, Haseul didn't even think twice with her bold move of sending Vivi a message to let her book the dining part of the establishment for that whole Wednesday afternoon. 

Vivi was surprised but the offer was a good deal albeit being so sudden. She had informed her coworkers about the quick change of schedule for that day, though nothing really ever changed since it was a weekday, only few people would stay in the dining area at that time. The arcade room was the more popular part, that's why they wouldn't rent it out exclusively since the restobar's opening. That room even had a secret entrance from the other side of the building in case the front entrance would be close.

 

There’s no doubt with Jinsol’s love for games like these. Although she rarely went to arcade places for her to enjoy since the places she frequented weren’t close to any establishment with features like this one, it’s her guilty pleasure spending so much coins in different arcade booths. And her favorite? It would always be the claw machine. 

Haseul appeared next to Jinsol while she was on her fifth attempt to grab a plush toy from the stand. Jinsol failed, but her conscience was no match for the spirit she had in her that she inserted more coins in exchange for additional rounds of clawing stuffed animals from the booth. 

“Tell me which one you like”

Haseul never doubted her friend’s ability in this game though she’d never seen Jinsol  _ actually  _ winning any prize from claw machines. Jinsol had always prided herself about her past triumphs in this, with an amazing record of consecutively winning four Pokemon plushies when she went to Japan; she even had a picture to prove that. According to Jinsol, it’s never about luck, it’s about skills; but Haseul knew her friend so well, she knew that apart from skills, there’s persistence, and well, lots of coins for her to use. 

“Hm… The bear with the blue scarf,” Haseul pointed to the middle of the stack. She heard Jinsol saying okay before moving the joystick to where the said bear laid. Now that she’s watching her friend actually try to grab a prize actually made Haseul nervous even though she’s not the one playing. 

 

The first attempt to grab the bear wasn’t successful. So as the second, third and fourth. Haseul grew worrisome with the amount of coins her friend had been sticking into the stall, but Jinsol assured her it was normal when playing games like this. It’s “Go big or Go home,” as Jinsol worded it.

“But honestly if you don’t win anything after using, say, fifteen coins, geez what luck do you have?” Jinsol commented as she grabbed the joystick. “Luckily for me, I  _ finally  _ figured the mechanism behind this machine.” Haseul shuffled closer to witness what her friend was pertaining to. 

The joystick was moved to several directions first before Jinsol pressed the play button, bringing the whole machine to a blaring start. Haseul watched each move her friend made. The claw was now on top of the bear that she requested for. Jinsol had done something with the joystick again before pressing grab. And there the bear was, once laying atop the rest of the plush toys, now found itself trapped between the claws of the pulley. Jinsol hit the grab button again, and the claws quickly bit the bear to have it secured around its fingers. The machine was now playing a triumphant melody as the plush was being lifted and brought to the corner where the way to Jinsol’s hands awaited it. 

“Ha, that took awhile for me to figure,” Jinsol crouched to grab the prize from the door below the booth. She then handed the blue-scarfed bear to Haseul who was looking at her with an astonished face. “Here you go! To the most amazing person I know!” 

Seeing Jinsol smiling widely as she presented her with the gift made Haseul stifle an airy giggle. The event was bringing her back to the past when the two of them were still dating. It made Haseul feel the sensation she once felt when they were together  _ romantically _ .

 

Jinsol was smart and charming, and she sure knew the way to a person’s heart even if she did this unconsciously. It’s her friend’s natural ability that Haseul had known from spending so much time with her. 

Even with a simple smile like that, Jung Jinsol could make anyone fall in love with her.

Haseul had witnessed this kind of smile many times before. There were several reasons why Jinsol would grin from ear to ear—there’s happiness, excitement, hope, gratitude, serenity and other positive emotions one could think of. But then Jinsol also smiled like this even in her lowest points in life, when she’s worried, sad, or angry. 

Jinsol would smile like that, even when there’s tears already flowing from her eyes.

Knowing Jinsol for years made Haseul realize that her friend was someone so precious, someone she had to protect; that she’d do anything to see Jung Jinsol smile without having to witness tears brought by sadness staining her cheeks. Haseul was there for her to bring nothing but happiness. Because knowing Jinsol made her believe that there’s only so much hardship a person could take, and the wonderful Jung Jinsol didn’t deserve all the cruelties her life was constantly throwing at her.

 

Haseul smiled as if it brought a breath of fresh air towards Jinsol’s direction with how refreshing it was. “Thank you so much!  _ You _ ’re the best!”

The bear safely rested in Haseul’s arms. She’d treasure this gift. It’s an actual proof that she’d seen her friend win in claw machines.

“Now time to get that teddy bear a playmate, wanna choose another plush for me to grab, Seul?” 

 

*

 

The pair had a small crowd surrounding them when Jinsol was on her fourth consecutive win from the claw machine. She didn’t need a lot of stuffed toys so she gave the prize to the little girl who was watching her in awe this whole time. 

There were few spectators filming Jinsol playing the claw machine because that’s just how amazing she was in this game. She was down to her last coin with Haseul next to her, cheering as her friend successfully won yet another plush. And for the generous Jinsol, she gave that prize to another child who was also watching her.

It was just in time to get back to the dining area for snacks.

 

Haseul was talking with Vivi as the latter prepared usual items in the afternoon menu, with an additional dish that the house prepared for them, to show gratitude for renting the whole place.

Jinsol, coming back from a short bathroom break, settled across Haseul while Vivi arranged the food on their table. Overhearing the talk, she joined in, “So you’re telling me, you manage this whole place with three other people?” she asked the lady who was serving them food.

“We manage this place altogether,” Vivi responded with pride.

“How cool is that!” Haseul was now kind of embarrassed with how her friend was getting all giddy and excited about this impromptu interview; she’d apologize to Vivi later. “There’s the arcade room and this dining room! You look so cool having to deal with all this, if I were you, I’d be so stressed!”

 

Laughing as she wrapped up serving dishes, Vivi explained that there’s truly much to manage, but she and her crew had found a way around the issue. The arcade room could manage itself even without the supervision of the employees inside. There’s money converter machines so they didn’t need to set up a counter. They just had to make sure there’d be no commotion in that area so they had to manage the volume of people. If the back door to the arcade room was open, they had to make sure someone would be manning that entrance. Otherwise they would control traffic from the dining room and see what’s happening in the other room through the security cameras. The dining area however needed more attention since they’d need people to man the cashier, cook the food, and distribute the orders. Given the limited human resources, it was hard at first. But Vivi and her beloved staff developed skills necessary to address this issue. 

 

“That’s really amazing!”

“That’s also the reason why Vivi loved it when only a few people would go here, it isn’t stressful” Haseul interjected, to which Jinsol shot her with a knowing look.

“That’s right,” Vivi affirmed with a lovely gleam of her smile. “But since this turns to a bar in the evening, it becomes a little chaotic, but yeah we get to handle that”

Amazed by her new found friend’s hard work, Jinsol reached to her side to grab one of the two plushes she decided to keep. “Vivi, I salute you. Here, have this!”

The sudden act of admiration caught Vivi off guard and had her blushing. Nevertheless, she took the gift. It’s from their claw machines in the arcade room. She took note of how Haseul and Jinsol had one for each of them. “Thank you! I see you’re a claw machine master”

“It is an honor to be called that!” Jinsol displayed her a smile of gratitude. “The food is amazing, by the way!”

Vivi nodded before retreating to her place behind the counter. She placed the toy next to the register.

 

*

 

Jinsol turned to Haseul who was then eating her green salad, “So  _ this _ Vivi. Is she  _ single _ ?” And her friend almost got a leafy vegetable stuck in her throat if it wasn’t for the glass of water already prepared that saved Haseul from choking. 

“Wha —why would you ask me that!” Haseul exclaimed. There’s that playful tone in Jinsol’s laugh that was irritating yet entertaining to hear. 

“What! I wanna know my best friend isn’t going to be a homewrecker!” Jinsol was too focused on the counter where the person they just talked about was staying and minding her own restobar thing. Jinsol wasn’t even intending on being discreet with the question nor with how noisy her snort appeared to be; if Vivi heard her, so be it. 

 

“Jung Jinsol!”

Jinsol turned her head to look at her friend. 

“ _ Seullie _ ,” two soft and warm hands wrapped around Haseul’s this time; Jinsol’s fingers found themselves in the spaces between her friend’s own.

(Jinsol and Haseul had held hands like this before, and it’s bringing out all sorts of fluttering emotions back to the latter, anything but romantic. 

With this one, assurance seemed to be the most dominating feeling.)

 

“ _ I know you _ ,” Jinsol continued, her eyes glued to the person sitting in front of her. “You’ve laid your eyes on her. And I see it, I can see why. Vivi seems really sweet and hardworking.”

“You like her” 

Jinsol spoke as if she’d seen through her friend, which she  _ truly _ did. She’d known all sorts of suitors Haseul has had in the past and a lot of them just weren’t her friend’s cup of tea that Haseul would ring her best friend to pick her up from numerous dates she wanted to ditch. A lot of guys were too cocky for Haseul, and most girls were too suffocating. 

With Vivi however, Jinsol’s seeing her friend already putting some of her guards down and starting to warm up. Those are signs that Haseul was starting to like someone, and seeing her talking with the restobar manager made Haseul’s eyes twinkle in interest. It’s long since Jinsol had really seen that glow her friend had, so long that she thought the last time was when they were still together, as girlfriends.

 

“Why don’t you shoot your shot?” 

 

Haseul’s relatives lived in distant places that she didn’t get to visit them every so often. She had Jinsol living with her instead. Having known Jinsol for years had made her part of Haseul’s family. A family whom she trusted and loved so much.

They were roommates first, and for a while of getting to know each other, the two of them began to date in the middle of their second semester as classmates. Soon after, they became official girlfriends. But there were so many complications that occurred, especially on Jinsol’s part. Haseul had seen these, understood all these, and respected it when Jinsol was the first one to ask for a break up. 

 

“It’s okay!”

 

Yes, they broke up and some people would be cutting connections with their former partners but for Jinsol and Haseul, they’ve established a connection that couldn’t be broken that easily.

 

“You don’t have to worry about me”

 

Yes, they broke up and the connection they had now no longer involved romantic feelings for each other but Haseul was glad. She’s glad she still had Jinsol in her life. She treasured Jinsol so much, because she wanted to protect her. And she saw her as someone she truly admired. Someone she trusted the most. That’s why Jinsol’s words mattered to her. And hearing her best friend actually saying  _ that _ put ease into her worried heart. 

 

“I’ll be okay on my own”

 

Yes they broke up, and Haseul was still visibly worried about the fact that if she didn’t put her attention on Jinsol, her friend would be in trouble. But Jinsol’s words were loud and clear. She said she’d be alright on her own. And Haseul believed she would be. Haseul trusted her. 

 

Jinsol would be okay on her own. 

She couldn’t always rely on Haseul since her best friend had her own life to live. She didn’t want any other person hindered from getting happiness because of her. 

_ It’s going to be okay _ , Jinsol told herself as she looked at Haseul whose eyes suddenly became teary.

 

“Trust me, will you! I’m big now!” she said, wiping away some tears that had begun to fall across Haseul’s cheeks.

“I feel like I’m sending off a relative to the airport right now,” Haseul laughed despite the continuous rolling of tears down her face. “Why am I crying, I didn’t even cry when I send my parents off!” 

“Idiot, even if you’re dating Vivi, we’re literally roommates, you’ll still see me!”

“But what if you suddenly grow distant because of my relationship??” Haseul had all scenarios of Jinsol drifting away from her in her mind. She wasn’t exactly mentally prepared to let go of Jinsol, and she didn’t anticipate this happening so soon because of herself.

 

By then, Vivi had come to their table with a napkin in her hands. She was checking if everything was fine and if the food was alright since Haseul had been sobbing audibly, she thought her food turned her customer’s stomach sour.

“Oh she’s definitely fine! It’s not your food, it’s actually great” Jinsol assured Vivi who had joined her in soothing Haseul. Vivi would love to believe her customer’s words since the plates were almost emptied from all the food

“She’s been crying though”

“We’re just emotional people,” Jinsol beamed at her. Vivi returned a timid smile as she rubbed Haseul’s back. 

 

“It’s going to be alright, Seullie. Trust me”

 

*

 

Jinsol waited as Haseul was settling the bill at the counter with Vivi. She’s witnessing her friend apologize with a sheepish smile. That was quite a commotion in the dining area earlier but luckily the whole room was reserved and no one from the arcade room really bothered coming through.

 

Soon after, an excited Haseul hopped next to her and linked their arms together. 

 

“You know for an adult, you’re still such a kid,” Jinsol chuckled.

“And you’re a baby!” Haseul just stuck a tongue out at her friend. 

“I know,” Jinsol turned to look at her friend. “But thank you for today. And I really mean those words earlier.”

  
  


*

 

“Yerim,” Hyejoo called from her side of the room. Said girl didn’t move to look at her roommate’s direction, she was busy typing something on her laptop. “I saw a cool person earlier”

“Hyejoo, if this is the same person from that diner you’ve been gushing about for a month now and willingly cuts class for just to catch her in her schedule…”

“No, Yerim.” Hyejoo rose from her bed, a cellphone tightly secured in her hand. “I did not see her today,” she declared, drawling the syllables to emphasize her disappointment, as she trespassed her roommate’s portion of their apartment and walked over to her desk. 

 

There’s a video showing a woman grabbing a plush toy from the claw machine and even Yerim was impressed to see it to have her pause whatever she’s doing on her laptop. “That’s like her fifth toy, damn I really wanted one of those” 

“So you could give it to your crush,” Yerim teased as she shifted her attention back to her screen. “You should have asked that lady to get you one”

“I was about to! But she and her girlfriend retreated to the diner afterwards and that part was off limits today. I’m so sad”

“You always say that!”

“I’m always sad.”

“No,” Yerim sounded as if she was about to start a two hour lecture. “You always say  _ you are about to _ , but like, you never actually do it even with the chance. Pick up the courage, Hye. Do it”

 

Hyejoo crawled back in the comforts of her own blanket. That hurt, she thought. But it’s the reality and Yerim sure was right.  “I will, I will,” she whispered. But Hyejoo knew it would take a long shot before she actually would do anything.

 

*

 

Haseul stopped in her track, it was just a matter of seconds before she and Jinsol got to the door of their apartment when she saw a box resting right atop their mat. 

“A package!” she practically scurried over like a child excited to unwrap a present she just got, leaving Jinsol wondering what was getting Haseul so thrilled to see what the package was about. “Jinsol! It’s for you!”

 

The sudden arrival of a package didn’t really surprise Jinsol, she thought it was for her friend, but now knowing it was addressed to her confused her because she didn’t order anything online for the past few days unless she did during her drunken state. But she hadn’t really drunk in a long while so from whom was it? 

 

The pair had to bring the box together inside. The package seemed smaller compared to the huge boxes they got from last week (Haseul sure knew how to buy in bulk) but it was heavy. 

Jinsol’s name written on a blue card welcomed them after opening the package. There was too much stuff inside, mostly Japanese things: noodles, snacks, candies, and oh was that a gundam? 

 

A gundam.

 

Jinsol took her phone to type in a message.

 

_ ARE YOU BACK IN HERE?????? _

 

It didn’t even take a minute before she received a reply.

 

_ I see you’ve received the package!  _

_ Yes, I’m back! ^_^ Wanna hang out tomorrow? _

  
  


*

 

She would be lying if Jiwoo said she didn’t get tired from all the non-curricular activities that she decided to join at the last minute of their application period. The lack of happenings in her life tickled her impulse and tricked her into getting into those, but did she regret the decision, Jiwoo wondered too. She’d see in two weeks once they’re over.

Jiwoo’s slumped with pictures to edit here and there, it’s challenging but she enjoyed what she’s doing; and those edits would be published in a magazine and she’d get paid for it to top that, so it was going to be worth it, she thought. 

She was skimming through her stash when she heard the carillon bell ringing. 

 

One ding. Two ding. Three, four, five, and six, before it finally came to a stop. Jiwoo counted it correctly, and her eyes went wide in shock as she looked at her watch to check out the time.

 

6:00 PM.

 

She’s already thirty minutes late for her class. So she got up from the marble floor of Mass Communication hall and basically ran a marathon to get into her class which was being held six giant blocks past where she had just spent her afternoon at. Sometimes she wished her school wasn’t that big.

  
  
  


Jiwoo couldn’t thank the gods more for having the best professor to spend her last class period with that Thursday. She didn’t get any stinky eye from the class either when she was making her way inside. All the worry she had earlier for being late for the first time dissolved into the void and she’s just enjoying the class as it went, until everyone had to bid farewell since their schedule was over and the night was getting deeper. 

 

It wasn’t until half of the class had flooded out of the classroom when Jiwoo approached her professor who was packing her own belongings into her bag.

 

“Miss Jung,” she said with a timid smile, bright pink blush starting to form on her soft cheeks. “I-I missed the first hour of the class and didn’t get to pass this so…” Jiwoo sometimes hated herself for being a panicked lesbian right in front of her biggest crush but there she was, embarrassing herself further. 

Her professor paid no mind and just smiled at her like she would always do with the others in the same class, “Oh, that’s fine! It’s no biggie, Jiwoo!”

“Thank you, Miss Jung”

“I’ll see you next week!” were her last words to Jiwoo for the day, but the smile that came with that goodbye was worth the late mark in the student’s attendance. Jiwoo was left in a trance. 


End file.
